Just One Day

Of somewhat normalcy is all I ask.  No hassles, no problems, tantrums, bickering,  issues, injuries.....   I think you all can see where I'm going with this.  Right down to the damn weather.  Why oh why could it not be as predicted today, or even close.  Sunny with a high of close to 50 degrees is a far cry from cloudy, dreary and barely in the mid thirties.  It sucks out and Big Boy is about to lose his ever loving mind.

As you can see, life at the beach has been far from a vacation lately.  Compliment of the federal government dragging their feet on the tax breaks, we are now *ever so patiently* waiting for the IRS to approve our itemized tax return so we can pay some bills around here.   I know everyone thinks the middle class has money coming out of their ears but since everyone under the sun has their hand in my damn pocket looking for something, let me let you in on a little secret....WE DON'T!!!   Shame on the government for delaying our refunds.  People bank on that money to get them off to a good start in the new year.  Most homeowners and property taxes and insurance premiums are do, let alone coming off from the holidays and this is the thanks we get for carrying everyone else's weight?  Thanks.

The stress has been a real bitch and I think I'm going to lose it soon.  I keep telling myself It's going to be alright, but I'm just not so sure anymore.  Here I sit, pissing my Sunday away when I should be cleaning or doing something at least somewhat productive and guess what, this is what depression does to you.  I've lost any desire to be social and it keeps getting worse.

Pity Party Over.

Hellooooooooo...

My poor blog has really taken a back seat lately. Between Big Boy, work and various medical ailments, I don't have much time for anything but I need to recommit myself to at least one post a week.

A dear friend of mine started a blog recently called "Trying to live with Tinnitus." If you have the chance, I strongly recommend checking it out.

Sigh. The thought of going to work tomorrow leaves me feeling physically ill. I haven't posted the new level of pharmacy hell I'm in so I'll have to get on that...soon.

Oh Saint Anthony.....

My keys are missing...again. I know big boy is behind it and I really need to find them. Normally, missing keys are not that big of a deal because they usually resurface in a day or two but they have been missing since Sunday. I am really worried he threw them in the garbage.
All of my grocery store thingies are on there. Not to mention my ID card for work. That's the big one. Well, maybe while I'm looking for the keys are will find his missing sneaker. Come on St. Anthony, show me some love.

The Symbol of Hope

During a time when our county was overcome by grief, fear and anger, a symbol was found in the rubble of the World Trade Center. A cross.

The cross has brought peace and comfort to many who have visited ground zero, many who were never able to bury the remains of the loved one they lost. I may be in the minority in this but I think about that day often. For months after Sept. 11, I was like a scared puppy. I hated coming home from work late because I didn't want to be alone in case something else happened. However, when I read the story of the cross, I felt comforted, not just for me but everyone.

I hope to visit Ground Zero when the cross is brought back and placed within the memorial permanently.

I found this poem earlier, written about that day and it is so overwhelming because now that I am a Mother, I feel so terrible for all the children who lost a parent on that morning.


SPECIAL GARDEN (A Child cry to his Daddy)

In my garden, I will plant some of Daddy's things

The hat he wears for his favorite baseball team.

His special notes he wrote to me.

His favorite songs he likes to sing.

His special collect cars he bought last spring.

His favorite tie that has grease stains.

His favorite fishing pole, even though he has never caught anything.

And I'm going to plant some of my tears, these come from me.

Every night before I go to sleep,

will go out to my special garden and pray over Daddy's things.

(c)copyright Natasha Flowers 2002

I guess what I am trying to say is, though I didn't lose anyone that day, I hope the Cross will give those who did comfort, in knowing their loved one is with God.