Good Riddance

I usually don't curse on my blog and I want to apologize in advance but most of this post is just dripping with profanity.  This is actually take from on of my favorite pharmacy blogs Fast Food Pharmacy.  It's a farewell letter written by someone who is fortunate enough to put the miserable world of retail life behind her for a  happier existence.  I would say about 95% of this rant is the exact bullshit I deal with EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  

This was passed along to me from a coworker of Anonymous who has left retail pharmacy for a better paying, less stressful life. Anonymous, I salute you! It would have been a 21 gun salute but we aren't allowed to carry weapons at work or even have them in our lockers.

Things I Won't Miss by Anonymous

*People walking up to the counter and shouting hello as though they've been waiting forever even though they JUST walked up to the counter and have barely been there for more than 12 nanoseconds.

*Running around like a crazy person from station to station because either (a) there's no one here or (b) because the people that are here are slow.

*The phone. Oh that f*cking phone.

*The customers. Should I name drop because I really f*cking want to.

*The words "I need a refill." or "I don't have the bottle." or "It says I have four refills until July 2011."

*Customers coming up to the CLOSED drop off window and completely ignoring and sometimes pushing aside the HUGE red sign that says "Proceed to Pickup Window" and then looking at me like I'm crazy when I tell them it's closed.

*Dirty prescriptions that seem as though they've been raped and shat on by homeless people. Is it so difficult to keep that piece of paper from becoming a victim of sodomy?

*The f*cking phone.

*Working the drop off window and having to deal with questions like "Where's the ice?", "Do you sell toenail clippers?" "Where are the pencils?", "I'm looking for lotion?". Not a f*cking customer service window and I obviously don't work the f*cking floor so how the f*ck would I know where icy toenail lotion pencils would be?

*This dusty ass allergen trap called a pharmacy. This is the health industry?

*Scrubs. Actually won't miss those because I never put those sleep bags on. And I was also under the impression that wearing pajamas to work was against the dress code.

*The drive thru. Everything about it. Every. Single. Thing. Deserves its own separate list.

*People that smell like bathrooms. People that smell like four month old sweaty cheese. People that smell like they've never heard of showers. People that smell like dead kittens soaked in vodka stuffed in a moldy barrel inside the asshole of the Loch Ness Monster.

*That f*cking drive thru bell and that fucking drive thru buzzer. And I realize I said that the drive thru deserves its own list which is totally true but when the hell am I ever gonna write that list?

*People that drive up with their f*cking arms/canes/tree branches/artificial limbs hanging out of the window so that they can press that damned button before they even park their fucking cars.

*Speaking of cars, if you come through the drive thru and your f*cking car door/window/trunk/sunroof does not open and the only way you can communicate is by getting out of your car then why the f*ck didn't you just come inside?

*People that don't hand you the money or toss the money or put the money on the counter five f*cking feet from where I am (I'm over here at THIS register, you f*cking douche)

*Some of those f*cking slow as shit nurses. It doesn't matter which one. I've offended them all just by saying this.

*People that ask "How are you?" Like you f*cking care.

*Broken printers/scales/computers/people. Yeah this can happen anywhere but I won't miss it happening here.

*Old people who call in prescriptions because they are afraid of technology then take up most of whatever is left of their life reading you one prescription number off the bottle. That is IF they can read it. "Oh wait, I'm sorry baby, that was a six." AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

*People telling me how I should do my job. "You guys would be a lot faster if you did this." "It would be easier for the customer if you did that." Well, I don't come to your house and tell you how to beat your kids, watch TV, make meth and be a worthless asshole so stop telling me how to do my job.

*Old people in general. Just because you're old doesn't mean you can walk all over me like something that old people walk on. Orthopedic shoes perhaps? Eh, whatever. Old people blow with a few exceptions (you know who you are).

*People who live on their f*cking cell phones and refuse to get off them even in the midst of physical interactions with people standing right in front of them. "Sir, I realize that Rochelle shouldn't have done that to Kenny and that you need to get to the grocery store before they run out of peaches which by the way I really don't see happening but I need your address."

*The approach. You're at the counter, you're at the window, even drive thru and you see someone approaching and you pray to God they are not coming to bother you. But they always are.



*Questions. I hate questions now. They say there are no dumb ones but I can without a shadow of a doubt tell you that there are. "What should I do about dry lips?" Really??

*Those severely f*cked up names that not even Dan Brown himself could decipher. And I'm the one that gets crazy looks when I can't say them. "And what is....uhm...Kuh-taw-buh-tee-air-eesh-ma-jah's birthday?" "It's pronounced Elizabeth!"

*Screaming and crying banshee children that only know how to cough and sneeze on every open surface and annoy the shit out of me. Yeah, this place makes me want to cry too but do you see me acting like that?

*Pharmacists with big heads. Usually the fresh out of school pill jockeys who think they're better than the people to their left. Get off your fucking high horse and ring out that lady's pantyhose.

*People who pull money out of their bras/shoes/underwear/rectums and then expect me to handle it, F*ck no! Go learn what the f*ck hygiene means and make it you life's purpose.

*Medicaid patients who complain about having to pay 50 cents to two bucks for their prescriptions but will pay any amount of money for a cheeseburger or a candy bar or whatever other f*cking pointless thing they don't need.

*When I tell you that something will be ready, for instance, after 4. Don't ask me when it's going to be ready and don't try to argue with me about the time I gave you either. "Does it mean 4:15, 4:30, 4:45???" Shut the f*ck up you dumb motherf*cker because I just told you that it will be after four so I don't give two f*cks about what time after 4 you come because it will either be done or it won't be which is another thing I couldn't give two f*cks about so go f*ck your f*cking self, bitch.

*It says Drop Off Window not Consultation Window, so why the f*ck are you in my face asking me what you should put on your rash?

*Benzonatate. A minor gripe but I will not miss your roly poly ass.

*Lazy motherf*ckers. You know who you are.

*Awesome motherf*ckers. You know who you are.

*In between motherf*ckers. Well, actually, you can only fall into one of the two groups above so, yeah, you know who you are.

*Wal-Act junkies. Vicodin junkies. Morphine junkies. Insulin junkies (those exist, right?). Junkies of all shapes and sizes.

Things are coming to a close around here so I leave you with these wise words of one Oliver Humperdinck, renowned author and indoor trumpeteer. "If any man hath his hands, he beateth with them slow time around the bolly bop tree when the weather is green and cheese is in bloom."

Powerful stuff.



Amen.

Best Cartoon Ever!

I have no idea who The Angry Pharmacist is but  he may just be my own personal hero:)

Whether I Like It Or Not...

Monday is going to happen.  Every Sunday night I stay up way to late (like right now) and get all depressed thinking about the upcoming work week.  Of course all this ends up doing is making me extremely cranky and over tired tomorrow which is pretty much a lose-lose situation for EVERYBODY.

Yup.  I wonder how many times I 'll get to hear, "I'm on vacation and forgot my___________."  Feel free to fill in whatever medication you would like.  Ironically though, it's usually something rather trivial like, I don't know, INSULIN!!!  I tend to leave my house all the time without a pulse, but it's not like I need one to live or anything.  Damn.  People are so freaking unbelievable.  I don't know how ninety percent of the people I deal with everyday even make it out their front door.

Anyway, besides work, this is going to be a real stressful week and I'm hoping for some kind of miracle.

I Must Be Getting Older

I guess it's time to except I'm not nearly as young as I like to think I am. To some extent, I do believe in the saying "You're only as old as you feel," but lately I've just been feeling old. Not tired old but, looking around at the younger crowd wondering what the hell is wrong with people.

I think it all started in work last week when I found myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Everyday you can usually expect to see the same three techs in the pharmacy. We work really well together and there is a sense of family between us. Let's face it, we see more of each other than we do our family anyway. When one of us is out during the week, the other two ALWAYS pull together to keep the pharmacy running like a well oiled machine. With that being said, this is a pharmacy right at he beach during the summer. It doesn't take much to realize how insanely busy we are.

When I was (much) younger, whenever I started somewhere new, I did what I was told. I always gave 110% and tried to learn every aspect of the job. Well, some of these younger kids are killing me. No one wants to work the cash registers. Ir sucks but it has to be done and guess what...that is what you are here for. These kids go and hide in the pill bays taking ten minutes to try to find one bottle of pills which results in myself or one of the other experience techs having to grab the register. They don't realize how counter productive this is to the flow of the pharmacy. The experienced techs have their own work which needs to be completed everyday without having to babysit these people. No matter how many times they are told to get back where they belong, ten minutes later, you have to go and find them.

Honestly, this is simply a work vent. The problem will be dealt with this week but I'm just aggravated at the lack of respect I see everyday. The sad part is, they don't even do the job they are there to do well. I don't think they realize how serious it can be. One careless mistake and you could kill someone. They don't get it. Sure, I was young once too but I had the common sense to take my job seriously. Ugh. It can only get better, right?

Blame It On Facebook

My poor blog has fallen victim to my Facebook addiction. Between Mafia Wars and Hatchlings I end up going to bed before I get a chance to post anything new in my day to day three ring circus I call a life.

Let's see....work has been interesting. Everyone thinks they have the Sine Flu. We are out of Tamiflu so if you do happen to get sick with your everyday run of the mill flu, you are out of luck because no one is going to have any Tamiflu. We even had a doctor call the other day and give e few RX's of Tamiflu for her family. Yeah, they aren't sick. People are so ridiculous.

Big Boy is doing really well and is becoming more of a little man everyday. I am just amazed with some of the things he comes out with now. He was trying to go pee pee on the potty earlier and when he couldn't get any to come out, he looked down at his thing and said, "Broken!" Funny kid. He had a field trip to the zoo today and his Aunt Linda went with him. From what I gather he had a great time but of course he knows the weekend is coming which can only mean one thing...Horsies and Pizza! It's not even the summer yet and I am so burnt out of that damn boardwalk. This kid lives for the weekend. All he wants to do is ride the merry go round and grab a slice of Maruca's pizza and he is in heaven. Obviously, he is spoiled rotten because I have yet to tell him no.

And then there's the Hubby. Hubby is working like a dog. His company is enforcing a mandatory twenty hours a week overtime for a few months. Knowing that the economy is horrendous and there are so many people who can't get can't get a job at all, I can't complain but it does stink. I need a break once in a while too and I'm not going to give Hubby a hard time because I know he is just as tired as I am if not more.

So..in a nutshell, this is what life has been like around here. Everyone is on the go and there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything I would like to accomplish done. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

Muskrat

As I get older, I have noticed my patience are basically shot. Big Boy uses up about 95% of them on a daily basis which only leaves 5% to deal with the rest of the world. This isn't good. Between work, driving and day to day stress, I have to find a way to cope and relax a little better. One main problem is my job. I just don't don't have the patience for nasty, obnoxious and irresponsible people. Enter Muskrat...

If anyone has seen the Meet The Parents movies then Muskrat should make sense. If you haven't, here's the Readers Digest version. In the movie, Robert Di Nero is unbelievably high strung so whenever he starts to lose it, someone says Muskrat and he attempts to regain his composure. We have applied this technique at work. I tend to get extremely snarky at times especially when I am doing my best to help some unappreciative patient or running around like a lunatic because we are short staffed and aren't budgeted for more tech hours. When someone sees me getting ready to lose it, they simply say Muskrat and I take deep breathe and re-focus on the task at hand. So far so good. I am shocked to say it's actually working and has stopped me from jumping over the counter and strangling a few people.

I tried doing the rubber band around the wrist and snapping it when I was losing it but, my wrist hurt like hell at the end of the day and I think a few people were starting to catch on. Honestly, there is nothing worse that spending time with a patient, helping them understand their insurance and offering advice on how to save them money by using a generic only to have them rip my head off the following week because they made a mistake on something. It really makes you lose faith in people.

Anyway, wish me luck and let's all say a little prayer that the Muskrat Experiment works!

Dear Nasty Pharmacy Customers,

Could you please not be such horrible people. I'm sorry your doctor hasn't gotten back to me and your insurance doesn't feel Viagra is medically necessary to maintain your quality of life.
I do wish your insurance company would cover you Viagra because then...

1. You would be in a better mood because you are getting laid.
2. You would be in a better mood because you are getting laid.
3. You would be in a better mood because you are getting laid. Technically, you are paying for sex. Cheap shot, I took it.

I sympathize with you but taking it out on me really doesn't solve anything now does it. What it does do, is make me not give a damn about you therefore you can wait until the second coming before I ever call your doctor again. Yeah, calling your insurance company because you can keep track of everything is really a courtesy. I have absolutely no problem doing it either if it makes your day easier HOWEVER, don't ever tell me to get on the phone and FIX IT! See, unlike you, I know how to manage my medications.

The problem isn't the techs. We do everything in our power to make sure all of the patients receive their medication within the time frame it was ordered. I'm sorry you are so miserable in your own existence that you feel you can come in and treat everyone like shit. I also like it when I hear you talking about how everyone who works here should be fired because we are all idiots. Awesome. I guess those two college degrees I have mean nothing, at least in your eyes.

Finally, when you drop off your prescription and are told it will be at least fifteen minute, walking immediately over to the pick up counter and asking for said prescription makes you look like the biggest idiot ever put on this earth and when you walk away bitching about us, keep in mind we are laughing even harder at you.

The funny thing is, I really like my job. Most of the customers are fantastic. I'm happy I know them all by name and I do care how they are. It's a shame that there are always a few bad eggs in the bunch.

Have a great day!

Your Friendly Pharmacy Technician

Monday Morning Blues

I have them. Not only did the weekend go by entirely too fast, Big Boy decided to be a horrid little monster most of the day yesterday and capped it all off by waking up around 9pm last night and having an hour long pointless tantrum. Good times.

I have no energy. I don't think my body has been this depleted since BB was a newborn and even then I was able to get some sleep. The thought of going to work today makes me sick to my stomach. The patients were so rude and obnoxious of Friday which means they usually pick up where they left off on Monday. There really isn't any reason for it either. I just don't understand why people have to be so nasty.

Here I sit, watching the clock, knowing I have to leave within the next two minutes to get there on time. Is hoping for a small earthquake to much to ask? Blah. Off I go.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

I really don't want to go to work. Today is going to be one of those days that I would be tempted to just grab a bottle off the control racks and chug it. We are in the middle of inventory and everyone and their mother is crawling around the pharmacy with a microscope, including the Feds. What's scary is, someone was fired about 5 months ago for sticky fingers and we all know our cycle counts are off.

My question is...what kind of formula do they use to establish a margin of error. Naturally, there is human error or two labels are printed but how do they determine how many pills we are allowed to be short. Everyone is stressed out and as usual we are short handed today which means I'll be running around like a lunatic all while trying to look my best in front of corporate.

I'm thinking this may be a martini kind of night. I rarely drink anymore but something tells me I'll need one after today.

Blind Luck

This is how people seem to get by. I haven't bellyached about work in quite sometime because honestly, I really like my job. It's extremely interesting and before I know it, the day is over with because I am constantly on the go. However, I will never understand why it is people don't know how to manage their medication.

Why do people wait until they are completely out of pills before trying to get a refill? Getting a refill the day you run out is one thing but to know damn well your doctor needs to be called and there's a good chance we may not hear back by the end of the day is just irresponsible and lazy. Hello...this is not a routine maintenance drug! This is a lifesaving medication you must take everyday or you could have a heart attack or a seizure! Why did you wait until the last minute?
Another thing, how dare you yell at me because YOUR doctor hasn't called back yet about YOUR medication that YOU neglected to refill. See where I'm going with this?

I know I chose this job but it would be so much easier if people would just pay a little more attention to their medications and stop treating the techs like doormats. End rant.

Thank You Big Boy

For waking up at 11pm last night and refusing to go back to sleep until almost 3am. You should be quite the charmer at school today and my patience should run out at work by about noon. In addition to being miserably tired, since I had to sleep on the sofa with you, my back feels like it's on fire. It's not like I can even take the day off to come home and sleep. All of my time off is saved for snow days and your ailments. So thanks BB, for what I am sure will be a wonderful day. I would pay anything to be able to drop him off at school, come home and curl up for the best nap ever.

Big Plans Tonight?

Ha! None here. NYE is total amateur night. There was a time when I would go out all night and party like a rockstar. Now, it takes every bit of energy I have just stay awake until midnight. I have to admit that partying all night once a year does sound fun but all of these plans will always be trumped by the thought of waking up at 6am hungover and having to deal with Big Boy all day. I just don't think I have it in me. He woke up at 5:30 today and I feel like I am going to collapse from exhaustion already. I'm really hoping someone at work can cover my shift tomorrow. I would love to spend the day with Hubby and BB but, I just don't think it's in the cards.

Hubby and I do have fun tonight though. We eat snacky food all night and play board games and friends tend to drop in throughout the night. Unfortunatly, right now I have to get ready for work. This should be a fun day. All of these morons waiting until the last minute for their medication and then throwing a hissy fit because their doctor has already left for the day is closed until Monday. Good times.

Is This Your First Day As An Adult?

I think this country has gotten by on blind luck, I really do. I can't get over how lazy people are. I'm a pharmacy technician and I spend all day dealing with the public. I fight with insurance companies, call doctor's offices and handle customer problems. It is a very busy day. From the minute I walk in to the minute I leave, I don't stop. I don't even take a break because there is just too much to do. It's alright though, for the most part I really like my job and the day goes by so fast, I'm on my way home before I know it.

I go have a few rants I need to get off my chest though. I know when I need a refill on my medication, I call my doctor and let the office know. They either call it in or I pick it up at the office. Easy. Why on earth do people think it is my responsibility to call YOUR doctor for YOUR medication. I never in a million years knew people were so lazy that they had the pharmacy techs calling for their refills. Of course, heaven forbid the doctor doesn't call back of denies the request! They will stand there and yell at me like it's my fault they are without their medication. I don't know? These are just a few rants I need to get off my chest.

Here's another PSA...if you are waiting for your prescription, please don't drop it off at the drop off area and walk IMMEDIATLY over to pick up and ask if your prescription is ready. Are you serious! How the hell am I supposed to fill your script in the thirty seconds you asshat! Oh, and asking me every three minutes if it's ready will not help your cause.

Finally, yes that is your copay, yes I ran it through your insurance and yes this is the same amount you have been paying every month. Why must you ask me the same questions every month. I have many more but I'm too tired to think of them. Wish me luck.

Neener, Neener Neener!

Yesterday as I was getting ready to leave for the wedding, my phone rings. It was the manager where I work telling me she had been informed by the "tech nazi" I was supposed to be working. I knew damn well I was scheduled off yesterday and I explained to her I had a family obligation and was not working. Now I received this phone call at 1:30pm. Apparently, I was supposed to be at work by 9am. So, the TN waited four and a half hours to tell someone I was a no show? What is she up to?

At this point I am fuming and also worried about my job. I left a message with the lead tech, who is awesome by the way, and explained what was going on. There was no way I was going to let TN ruin my night. Luckily, I received a text message and apparently the second coming was reading the wrong schedule!!! Ha! I know she was hoping to get me in trouble and it backfired! Also, she will be away for the next few weeks so I don't have to deal with her.

Lesson of the day....Try reading the correct schedule before attempting to be a bitch!

The Tech Nazi

Before I say anything, I hope the title of this post does not offend anyone (other than who it is about). However, there is no other way to describe this woman.

I recently started a new job about 2 months ago. I'm a pharmacy technician. Not a bad job at all. I have had more jobs since graduating college almost twelve years ago than most people will have in their life. Ironically, none of them had anything to do with either of my Bachelors degrees. Anyway, there is a woman who I work with who has been doing this job for ten years. That is a long time and she really knows her stuff. I have been doing this for about two months. Before I started, I never realized just how much I had to learn. Let me give you the run down:

-Learn the equivalent generic drug to all brand names(it helps)
-How to navigate the computer system. This is also includes refills, new scripts, returning scripts to stock and a whole mess of other fun stuff.
-How to put scripts through the insurance
-How to read a doctor's handwriting and punch in the script exactly how it is written. Yes, doctors do have the worst handwriting!
-Actually pulling the drugs and filling the prescriptions.
-Fighting on the phone with insurance companies.

Thee is much more but I think I may have already bored a few of you. So, I have been trying really hard to learn all this. Everyone I work with is telling me what a great job I am doing which is so nice to hear because I feel like a screw up. In comes the tech nazi. She always has something to say. Constantly putting me down and making me feel like a jerk. She has even put me down in front of customers. Luckily, I only have to deal with her about twice a week, but its still too much.

I really don't know what to do about this woman. I actually loathe her. I've put her in my "thin mint" file. One day I'll tell you who that is. Ugh! I don't know what to do. I know the next time she does something I am going to pull her aside and call her on it. I just hope it doesn't blow up in my face. Any suggestions?

I'm sorry

Really I am. I have so much to say and no time to say it. Big boy is really sick AGAIN. I have been working, hubby is logging massive overtime and I just can't seem to get five minutes to myself.
Hopefully, when hubby falls asleep tonight I will be able to sneak out here and grab a few minutes to myself.

Take em all, you'll be fine

Seriously, I can't even explain to you how many pills I process everyday. No wonder our health care is through the roof. Doctors just keep on prescribing them and people fill them, and don't end up using them.

I thought I was going to snap today. "I need my Coumadin RIGHT NOW." You know what lady, pull up some wood, zip your mouth shut and wait until I call your name!

K? Thxbai.

6:47am Saturday

It's Saturday morning. There is no reason anyone should have to be up this early getting ready for work. Damn, TS Hanna will be here by noon and I just want to stay home with big boy and hubby and have a fun rain day. Of course, the road I take to and from work floods terribly, and I know I am going to have the worst time getting home.

Rant over. I'm just tired and cranky.

DO.NOT.WANT

To go to work until 6pm. Just don't feel like going. I want to take big boy to the beach and the boardwalk and slack off. Instead I have to deal with the general public and bite my tongue all day. By the time I get home, see hubby and the boy for a bit, it will be time to go to bed! Grrrr!

Care to take bets on how long it takes me to get fired?