In a Fog

This is how I feel lately, alone in a fog, just wandering around not knowing what to do. No one to really talk to and I don't think anyone really wants to listen. I'll keep it all inside.

Is This Your First Day As An Adult?

I think this country has gotten by on blind luck, I really do. I can't get over how lazy people are. I'm a pharmacy technician and I spend all day dealing with the public. I fight with insurance companies, call doctor's offices and handle customer problems. It is a very busy day. From the minute I walk in to the minute I leave, I don't stop. I don't even take a break because there is just too much to do. It's alright though, for the most part I really like my job and the day goes by so fast, I'm on my way home before I know it.

I go have a few rants I need to get off my chest though. I know when I need a refill on my medication, I call my doctor and let the office know. They either call it in or I pick it up at the office. Easy. Why on earth do people think it is my responsibility to call YOUR doctor for YOUR medication. I never in a million years knew people were so lazy that they had the pharmacy techs calling for their refills. Of course, heaven forbid the doctor doesn't call back of denies the request! They will stand there and yell at me like it's my fault they are without their medication. I don't know? These are just a few rants I need to get off my chest.

Here's another PSA...if you are waiting for your prescription, please don't drop it off at the drop off area and walk IMMEDIATLY over to pick up and ask if your prescription is ready. Are you serious! How the hell am I supposed to fill your script in the thirty seconds you asshat! Oh, and asking me every three minutes if it's ready will not help your cause.

Finally, yes that is your copay, yes I ran it through your insurance and yes this is the same amount you have been paying every month. Why must you ask me the same questions every month. I have many more but I'm too tired to think of them. Wish me luck.

Best Weekend Ever

Just wanted to say that this was by far one of the best weekends I could have ever asked for. Big Boy was just thrilled with all the fun things we did! He loved all of his presents and his new bike. He especially loved his new sock monkey jack in the box. I am still oozing with smiles over how special it was for him! We went to a birthday party today for one of his friends and he just played with the other kids and laughed. Priceless. He even had a great time helping us carve the pumpkins this year.

We have decided to extend his birthday into his birth week. He deserves it! We have such a fun week planned for him too!

Happy Birthday Big Boy!

I can't believe you are three years old today! Where has the time gone? I was on my way to the hospital right now, over flowing with fear. This will always be the happiest day of my life. We can't wait to have a great day today, even though you are currently throwing cheerios in the air and yelling yahoo, I will look past that since it is your day! Nanny & Grandpa are coming over later to see you and you have no idea yet about all the present we have hiding in the back bedroom for you!

Happy Birthday Big Boy! Mommy & Daddy love you so very much!

Birthday Cake Success!

The JoJo cake cake came out fantastic!!! At least I think it did. I have been so worried about it all day and I am just so happy and proud of myself!


I can't wait to see his little face tomorrow when he sees his cake!


Yay! I guess I should head to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day and I don't want to be tired on Big Boy's special day!

Wish Me Luck

Since tomorrow is Big Boy's birthday, I am attempting to make him a JoJo's Circus cake tonight after he is all tucked in bed. It's a basic round cake recipe but I'm worried about piping the design on the top. This is what I am praying it turns out to resemble. The cake is already in the oven which will give it all the time it needs before I start decorating.

On a side note, I can't believe three years ago at this time I was starting to go into labor. *Sniffle*

Where did the time go?

His First Real Bike!!!

I bought BB's birthday present today! I am so excited to give it to him. He fell in love with it at the store and was so sad when we were leaving. Little does he know it's in the back of the truck just waiting for him! He has a tricycle and a ride on quad but I thought maybe he was a little to young for a bike. Nope! He got right on it in the store and started riding. I wish it was Saturday so we could give it to him.

What to do first?

Today is one of those days where I really don't have much to do except make a few phone calls in the morning and run some errands. Saturday is Big Boy's 3rd birthday so I would like to get him a few presents! Woot! I guess I do have a list of things to do but nothing that I would really stress over and I'll get to it when I get to it. I am looking forward to a fun day off work. Days like this make me a bit nervous because I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like a surprise bill in the mail or even better, Hubby's car is in the shop and he drove to work with his sister. I really hope they don't call with some outrageous price for a new tire and oil change.

Now for the question of the day. What to get BB for his birthday. Unfortunatly, none of the stores carry any JoJo stuff anymore so I had to buy a few things off eBay which won't be here in time. We need to get a gift for one of his friends who is having a birthday party on Sunday. I'll let BB tell me what he wants. We'll go to TRU and hopefully he'll be excited about a few things and I'll buy those. Luckily, I can still take him with me when I shop for him. I know this will be the last year for that. I guess I should get rolling on my day.

Feel free to drop any gift suggestions!

A Free Dr. Pepper You Say....

I heard a funny story driving to work the other morning. Apparently Guns & Roses is supposed to be putting out a new album. in November. Honestly, I could care less. However, since everything they do turns into a three ring circus and always falls apart, Dr. Pepper has said if they actually release the record on time, they will give every person in America a free Dr. Pepper. I'm not joking, you can read the article for yourself.

Since I am not a fan of the drink, should everyone in America receive a free can of Dr. Pepper, I will happily send my coupon to my good friend over at Confessions of a Dr. Pepper Addict. Obviously, you can see why I would send it to her. So there you go. I'm thinking it will never happen but for the sake of my friend, we can hope G&R gets their act together!

A Moment of Weakness

I had to run some errands earlier and I promised Bog Boy we would pick him up something small from TRU. Since having the hysterectomy in June, I always steer clear of the infant isles an any store I go to. It just makes things easier. I guess I must have been daydreaming today because before I knew it I looked up and was surrounded by bassinets and little baby hats and booties.

I felt sick, physically ill. I could feel the tears building in my eyes. For some reason, I continued to look around at all the things I will never need again. I noticed some new products and some old favorites that I couldn't live without when BB was an infant. All the while, I was fighting off being sick right in the store.

Does this make me a terrible person. I know I am so unbelievably lucky to have my son and I would die for him. I just wonder if I did the right thing having this hysterectomy? Sure, I was always sick and in constant pain but, could I have tried a few more cycles of Lupron? Maybe I could have given a different birth control a chance? Part of me feels something could have been done to control the endometriosis which caused my infertility. Did my body just give up?

I have an attic full of baby clothes, toys and equipment that could easily be donated somewhere but I just can't bring myself to go up there and sort through it. I have tons of maternity clothes just collecting dust. I refuse to give them away. When will I start to feel whole again. When will I forgive myself for not being able to give BB a little brother or sister.

I'm sure over time I will begin to feel better about all this but right I'm in a bad place. I need to figure out how to get past all of this and not look back.

Not Much To Say...

I have been on the phone all morning setting up appointments for this or that. It would be so nice though if just one person could call me back with a date when they say they are going to. I have to go to work later. Wednesday & Thursday's are the worst. It really bothers me to not be home at night. I know I'll be home a little after nine and I could use the break from Big Boy but, I would just rather be here.

I guess I should get back to making phone calls. When did society become so rude. I have been trying to schedule a test for over three weeks now and I just keep getting jerked around. Such is life.

Seeing Red!

Back in July, hubby and I had to go to a funeral in North Jersey. We spent the night in a Comfort Inn. We,, it was about $92.00 a night. I know this is my fault, but I just assumed it had been taken out of my bank account. When I checked the account today though, it was showing the charge. My question is: How can a hotel wait almost two and a half months to charge your debit card for a room?

Of course the man I spoke with on the phone was a complete jerk and doesn't feel anything was done wrong. Honestly, I thought the money had been drafted and certainly was not anticipating that money coming out of my account. That should be my cell phone bill this month! I am so raging angry right now I could scream!

Anyway, even though the hotel is a private franchise, I was able to track down a general customer service number for the corporate office and plan on dealing with this in the morning. I have no problem paying for the night we spent there, I just thought I paid for it back in July!!! I think it is poor business and for once I am going to stand up for myself.

Am I wrong?

Big Boy of the Corn

We took Big Boy to the pumpkin patch last weekend and it was quite the experience. We took him to the same place last year and we had such a great time. I think that was where we went wrong this time around. Our expectations were so high that the moment he started having a tantrum we felt like the day was going down hill.

We started off feeding the animals which was so cute. Big Boy really got a kick out of the animals eating right out of his hand and it was so sweet to watch him feeding them. From there we walked around the farm a bit and we ran into some friends. Here is where it all began. BB is obsessed with straps and clips. All he wanted to do was play with the buckle on our friend's stroller. At first it was fine but there were other things we wanted to do and when we tried to pull him away he had a complete and total meltdown.

After BB regained his composure we decided to head into the pumpkin patch. This wasn't too bad except he wanted to sit down and play with the vines which have a weird kind of sharp fuzz about them. Somehow we manged to avoid a crisis, quickly loaded up our wagon with a few pumpkins and headed towards the corn field maze.

I had been looking forward to the maze all day. Last year was a blast. BB lead the way and we followed him laughing and taking pictures. This year however, he was trying to make his own paths and run off by himself and was generally a bit too much to handle. I really think it is his age. He wants to be more independent but doesn't know how to go about it without melting down.
After the maze we quickly paid for our pumpkins and just got the heck out of there. We are thinking about going back next weekend when we know we aren't going to meet anyone there and see how he does. I just want to have a good time with him there. I feel so bad for hubby too. He feels the same way and doesn't want this years trip to the pumpkin patch to be a bust.

I think we will try again next week!

Best Apple Pie Ever

I need to start out by saying thank you to my friend over at Tales from the Beehive! She posted the most delicious recipe for apple pie I have ever tasted. The recipe is so easy and the results are fabulous! Please, hop on over to her blog and check it out. It is a few posts back titled "It's the First Day of Fall!"

I also recommend taking full advantage of all the great recipes she offers and the beautiful photography she posts.

Please Stop Pounding

I have a headache. I don't get them often but when I do they seem to last forever. I would really like to go to bed but, I fell asleep on the sofa earlier and nothing got done around here. I have to work in the morning and it will nag at me all day if I know I am coming home to a bunch of housework because I didn't do it the night before after Big Boy went to sleep.

What the heck is causing these headaches lately. It has to be stress, that is all I can think of.

Wow!!!

I think I may have finally found a background I really like thanks to TheCutestBlogOnTheBlock.com. There are so many different backgrounds to choose from, I'm sure I'll be changing it up often. Check it out if your looking to add some color to your blog!

Be sure to tell me what you think...

Yummy Delicious Cream Cheese Pie...

This is one of those recipes that has been floating around for years. I think it was found on the underside of a cool whip container. I remember having it as a kid. It is so good and extremely easy too. I call it a lazy pie because there isn't even baking involved.

1 Graham cracker pie crust
2 tsp Vanilla
8 oz Cream cheese, softened
8 oz Whipped topping, frozen
1/3 c Sugar
1 c Sour cream

Beat cream cheese until smooth, gradually beat in sugar. Mix in sour cream and vanilla and slowly fold in whipped topping. Blending well. Spoon into pie crust and chill until set, at least 4 hours. You can top this pie with just about anything. I usually use blueberries of raspberries. I'm sure strawberries are delicious too but I would rather not go to the emergency room afterwards so....I leave them off. Enjoy!

When Will He Understand?

Sleep is important. Big Boy has never been a good sleeper. Ever. I think I can count on one hand how many times he has slept through the night and he will be three in a few weeks. I remember holding him as an infant thinking, "alright, I just need to make a few more weeks, everyone says they start sleeping through the night at six weeks." Well, six weeks came and went, then twelve, then six months and well, you get the idea.

I just don't understand what I did wrong. We tried everything. I have read every book about infant and toddler sleep and nothing has helped. I'm just so exhausted. I hear people talk about how their kid slept through the night right away and they would lay the baby down at 8pm and wouldn't hear a peep until 7am. HOW?!

One day, I pray, he will start sleeping better. I worry about what will happen when he starts school next month. He will not be able to handle school on no sleep. Once again, I really wish he had come with an owner's manual.

The Big Day

Well, this is the first of many. Today is Big Boy's pe-k evaluation. Since he will be three the end of this month he is being considered for pre-k due to his speech delay. I am a nervous wreck. I know we are doing what is best for him but I am tired of people passing judgement on my son. Among one of my worries is the fact he isn't potty trained. He just has no interest in the potty. We have tried a few things to peak his curiosity and nothing has worked.

Luckily, hubby is coming with us to the evaluation today. I just don't think I was able to do it alone. The thought of being in a room with five other people besides us, who are there strictly to pass judgement on us has be on my way straight into a panic attack. I am already getting shaky just typing this.

I just want what is best for BB. I know he will do wonderfully once he is in school with other kids. We are very fortunate for where we live because the public school system is excellent and so far the people who I have spoken to genuinely seem to care about BB and his future education. So wish us luck and pray there are no breakdowns in the near future.

Ah...The Good Ole' Days

While I was driving home from work today, I grabbed a random disk out of my console and wouldn't you know it.....a fantastic mixed live Grateful Dead disk. The whole way home I just kept thinking about all the shows I have been to and how I wish I could go to just one more.




I decided to poke around you tube and found quite a few fantastic clips from some live shows. Rumor has it a few of the boys are currently touring with the Allman Brothers Band. I'm sure it would be a great show but, it's just not the same.

JoJo My Love....

Big boy is in love. Her name is JoJo. I think we have seen every episode of JoJo's circus at least fifty times. He takes his JoJo doll EVERYWHERE he goes. He even brought her into the bath tub last night which is good because she was getting a bit dirty.

I really can't complain. Of all the kids cartoons out there, I have to admit, she is my favorite. Hopefully we will be able to make it to Disney before he gets much older so he can "meet" his love.

Whew...

I found my keys. They were on top of the refrigerator. I certainly don't remember putting them up there. I think a certain little boy who shall remain nameless tossed them up there. Anyway, thank goodness I found them!

Happy October!

Yippy! I woke up this morning and it was actually chilly outside. Finally, the weather is breaking. To keep with tradition, I think we may take big boy to the pumpkin patch this weekend. We had so much fun last year chasing him through the corn maze!

My favorite time of year is here!

Oh Saint Anthony.....

My keys are missing...again. I know big boy is behind it and I really need to find them. Normally, missing keys are not that big of a deal because they usually resurface in a day or two but they have been missing since Sunday. I am really worried he threw them in the garbage.
All of my grocery store thingies are on there. Not to mention my ID card for work. That's the big one. Well, maybe while I'm looking for the keys are will find his missing sneaker. Come on St. Anthony, show me some love.