Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I Didn't Think I Had It In Me

I did it.....I QUIT SMOKING! I never thought I would be able to do it but I honestly feel I can call myself a non-smoker now! I've been smoking for nearly 18 years. Yeah, you read that right, 18 years. Sometimes it would be very light like maybe five or six cigarettes all day and other times I could smoke up to a pack. There was always a direct level of correlation depending on what was going on in my life.

In my late teens and twenties I never wanted to quit because I was going out all the time and partying with my friends and everyone knows that if you smoke, a beer and a cigarette go hand in hand. I was constantly telling myself I was going to quit and that I could do it but I could never even make it two days. How pathetic is that. I could not go two days without a cigarette. Hell. three hours in and I was already a mess. I laugh at the way I used to justify smoking too. Obviously, I never smoked in my car or house or near my son but still.....gross.

After having Big Boy like the idiot that I am, I started smoking again. Why you ask? Because I'm an idiot. About a year after having him I asked my OBGYN if he could right me an RX to help me quit so he wrote me Chantix. I did my research and it seemed many people were having positive results. Unfortunately, even though it was working it was also giving me migraines. So, I quickly threw in the towel and lit up. For the last two years I have made every excuse in the book why I could wait a little longer until thankfully, the Hubby sat me down and really talked some sense in to me. Aside from that, my mom is having problems due to smoking and everything just clicked and I realized I have been slowly committing suicide for nearly twenty years and it is extremely selfish of me to do this to everyone.

About eight weeks ago, I decided enough was enough and it was time. I was smart enough to concede that I needed help and I knew I couldn't do it alone. I broke down and bought the Nicoderm CQ patches. After reading the box I was all kinds of pissed that it was a ten week process but reluctantly slapped on a patch and went for it. Here I am nearly eight weeks later and today I bought the final box of the Nicoderm program and I nearly cried when I realized I did it. I made it through the toughest part and even though I still have two weeks left I am confident enough to call myself a non-smoker!!! It was hard, there is no denying that but once I learned how to change my schedule up and keep myself busy, each day literally became easier and easier.

So there you have it! I have saved an insane amount of money and probably added at least ten years to my like. I feel like a million bucks, my skin looks better and it's so nice not stinking like a filthy ash tray. I've even gotten to the point where the smell of it makes me sick to my stomach. So to anyone who thinks they can't quit smoking...if I can do it ANYONE CAN DO IT!!!!!

1 comment:

Mel said...

Good job, T. I smoked for ten years. I quit January of 1999. So I've been an ex-smoker now for as long as I was a smoker. Someday, you'll be able to say the same. :)